Your an Idiot.

So, I’ve been debating whether or not I wanted to write about this for a little bit now but I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m goanna do this whole blog about my life thing then I’m goanna have to not hold back and keep it real with my experiences and opinions.

HEADS UP. I am a lady gosh darnit and I got family reading so there will be no raunchy words written here sorry sickos. The deets are for the day ones only.

About two months ago I received a snapchat from an old college friend. Me and this human, who shall not be named, have had a past. So from the moment I saw his name, I knew it was going to be trouble. We snapped back and forth for a while being flirty, funny and juvenile and sometimes we would occasionally message and talk about nothing really. He would always say he wanted to “hangout and chill” but since I had just recently moved, it made it more difficult to get together. Let me just get one thing clear: in no what shape or form was I, nor have I never been, emotionally attached to this person what so ever. He is far from boyfriend material. He isn’t even close to friend material. He’s someone that is chill to hang with, he’s easy on the eyes and he’s extremely fun to kiss. Since this is familiar territory and it had been a while since I have had a consistent flirt in my life, I decided to entertain the idea of him (Sue me for wanting attention *rolls eyes*).

After a few weeks of snapping and texting here and there I went home for the weekend. Taking advantage of that fact, he had asked if I wanted to hangout so I decided to meet up with him. We drove around for a while listening to music and talking about what we’ve been up to since school ended. We got lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood, we laughed a lot then finally we kissed…we kissed a lot. We had a nice time and it was good to catch up and I’m not gonna lie it felt nice to be wanted (have your lawyers call my lawyers). A few days past and we hadn’t spoke... classic. Then after the third day he popped up on my phone again and we spiraled into the same communication routine as before except a little more than before.

Two weeks went by and I went home for the week again. So obviously because of our newly shortened distance we decided to hang out. Noting special to report, same as the time before. We went our separate ways and the next day I sent him a snap. I didn’t expect him to reply right away but I never would have expected that I would be blocked. I was SHOOK, so me being the in your face kind of bitch I am, texted him “you blocked me on snap? What up??” no response…..

So like any other human for the next week and half I skimmed my brain over and over again trying to figure out why I would be blocked and the only conclusion I came up with is that he was an idiot. I was right though, he’s a massive dumb ass idiot.

I was on the phone with one of my best friends after work one day. She said “so what ever happened with that kid, did he ever respond to you?” I said no and that I didn’t know what his problem was. This bitch mutters back “well meg you know he has a girlfriend, right?...... UMMM NO BITCH I WAS NOT AWARE OF THIS INFORMATION YOU SPEAK OF. I started to laugh uncontrollably obviously, this dumbass has a girlfriend. Of course he does. At least my life started to make sense and my wondrous mind didn’t have to think about what I might’ve done scare away this fragile male species. As soon as I got home, I texted him that he was a pussy and that I hoped his girl breaks up with him. This dumbass, lying ass, idiot boy finally replies to me “we weren’t dating then and now we are. I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t want that.” Oh, you didn’t want that? You didn’t want me to be upset? Aww thank you so much I feel so much better now. Like fuck you bro. Yah I didn’t want to end up upset either and I’m pretty sure your girlfriends didn’t want to be cheated on either but I guess neither of us had a choice in that matter.

Not only is his response the dumbest thing I have ever received, it’s also a lie. His girl had been posting lovey dovey couple shit with him since December. I would just like to make it clear to everyone that the female species between ages 16-35 are Jedi’s of the internet. We are full blown detectives and if we want to, we will find out your deepest secret before you can even text us back so FYI: don’t lie gentlemen because we know, we just fucking know okay??

I would have never entertained anything with him if I had known he had a girlfriend. That’s just not me. I know some people have different views and it’s not my place to tell people what’s right or wrong but he should have told me. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that wouldn’t have given a damn but I did. It’s not something I want to be associated with so the fact that he withheld this information from me made me unknowingly go against my moral construct and that’s what pisses me off. After I found out I felt like shit, and that feeling could have totally been avoided if he just told the truth. If he wanted to go fuck around on his girl he should have found someone who’s not bothered by that. He should also think about maybe getting a girlfriend he doesn’t feel the need to cheat on? Maybe? Just a thought? Because regardless someone else is getting hurt here too and has no clue. I hate the idea that I was a pawn in this idiot faces weird scream to cheat and possibly really fuck up someone else mindset.

I take my moral integrity very seriously because I like to think that me myself and I get along and approve of each other just fine. I care about the way I think about myself more than I care about how others perceive me so I don’t make choices that disrupt my inner peace. I make my own choices and I get to decide what situations I get to be involved in. I’m the kind of person who thinks every situation a thousand ways through before making a move. The fact that I have been blindsided is maybe a shot to my ego? Maybe an error in judgment? Luck of the draw? Regardless, I’ll get over it. Lack of respect for self and others is just my least favorite part of humanity.