Making Lemons Into Lemonade
Kathy was born and raised in the Bronx New York and don't you forget it. She always had a boyfriend and everywhere she went she turned heads. She had spunk, attitude and an ass to die for. James was the youngest of five who grew up on the streets of Methuen MA. His family and him grew up poor but never in spirit. He didn't have much, but would later find that music was all he would ever really need. He had a voice that commanded attention, a tortured soul, witty banter, and a heart like gold. Even though in distance they were five hours apart with no knowledge about the others existence, a little thing called fate had a plan in mind. The year was 1990 and a marketing company Kathy was working for was having an event in the city. A friend of hers had been begging Kathy to come for weeks and finally got her to agree. James, who had no connection to this company, had also been in the process of being persuaded into attending by a friend. With no plans for the weekend, push came to shove, and James decided to take the road trip.
It was summer in the city and James arrived to Manhattan exhausted and completely overwhelmed by the mayhem of his surroundings. From the moment he arrived, he had been planning his exit plan just in case all hell was to break loose. James was always prepared. He carried a tool of some sort on him at all times for the “just in case” moments in life. As he got out of the taxi, he quickly felt his pant pockets making sure his tool was rightfully in check. He looked at his buddy and they headed into the comfort of the air conditioned hotel. They entered a big conference room with all the chairs in one big circle. James and his friend took their seats and started to shoot the shit, both anxious to get the day over with so they could get the night started. As more and more people took their seats and started to settle in, in walked Kathy. A skinny little thing with red hot curly locks, eyes like the sky, and a white dress that hugged her just right. James looked at the door then back at his friend, and then right back at the door.
Kathy walked in and greeted a friend who had asked if she would pass out some pamphlets. She walked around the room and with every step she took, she could feel the tall bulky guy in the back with a full head of curly dark locks and green eyes watch her every move. She took a seat next to her friend and annoyed said “okay, what the hell is this guys deal? He hasn't stopped staring at me since I walked in here”. The meeting started and all the two could focus on was each other. Once over, everyone got up and began to gather their things. Kathy stood up abruptly and heading straight for James. She landed right in front of him, crossed her arms, cocked her hip, and said in the tune of the bronx, “we got a problem buddy?!” Taken back, James stood up to meet her at eye level and said confused “I'm sorry, excuse me?” Kathy rolled her eyes and said “you've been staring at me ever sense I walked in here and I'm sick of it. So we got a problem or what? I owe you money or something?” James laughed to himself, scratched his head, and said sweetly, “look I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable- I never intended to. Its just that your one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I guess I had a little trouble looking away.” Kathy looked back at her friend and then looked back at James and cracked a smile. She looked up at him smug like and said, “your not from around here are you?” “no i am not but I take it you are?”. Kathy smiled and shook her head and said, “as a matter of fact I am. how about I make you a deal?…. How about I let you take me out tonight and in exchange I’ll show you around the city?”
James never stood a chance.
Later that night, James and Kathy and their two friends all went out to dinner and ventured through the city. The night was crisp and the city lights lit their way as the two spent the rest of their night in what seemed like a constant state of laughter. The two never left each others side for the rest of the weekend. When Sunday night came to an end, they said their goodbyes and exchanged phone numbers. Kathy went back to the bronx and James went back to New England. Over the next few weeks the two kept in contact, speaking at least once a week. They were blissfuly infatuated with one another and made plans to see each other again in august. In what seems to be a quick series of events, just like that September came, and Kathy was pregnant.
Now I know this is supposed to be a love story but there’s nothing scarier than having a child with someone you barley know. They were young and impulsive and both had their own separate lives. A few days after finding out, the two sat on the beach and talked about what was next for them. Kathy looked at James and said, “well Garrity, I guess you knocked me up. What are you gonna do about it?” James took a deep breath and said, “what am I Igonna do about it? I guess I'm gonna marry you, that what I'm gonna do.” So being good little catholic kids, the couple was married by December, and had a baby boy by April. James was waiting to get hired by a local fire department in the area, so Kathy moved to MA so they could start their family. Now fate worked fast but fate can’t do anything about the fears that come from starting a life with a person you barley know. That was how it went back in the day. You get pregnant, you get married, and you make it work.
They had to slowly learn the little things about each other. James learned that Kathy didn't have an easy life growing up either. Her father was diagnosed with MS when she was younger and forced her to have to grow up with a single mom, which is where he would later find out she gets her strength from. He would also learn that’s where she learned how to love. Kathy would take jimmy to visit her dad in the hospital every week and even though her dad could do nothing but listen, Kathy would treat him like nothing had changed. She would talk his ear off, help him play with the baby, take him for walks, and treat him as if he was still a mans man. That’s also where James learned that even though he barley knew Kathy, that the love she showed for her father spoke volumes of her soul. Kathy would learn that James had big dreams of becoming a a rock star, a big family with lots of secrets, a lot of curse words at the dinner table, and that no topic was untouchable when it came to a Garrity conversation. She would also learn that when the shit hit the fan that there would be no-one she would rather have by her side. Over the next 26 years they would buy a house, have two more kids, numerous jobs, start a business, build an addition, renovate, fight often, and love always.
Kathy and James or who I like to call, mom and dad, made it work. It wasn't easy and a lot of the time it seemed like fighting was the only thing they were good at, but they loved each other nevertheless. They were lucky. They started life backwards and somehow made lemons into lemonade. They had to get to know one another while creating a life together. If you think about it, it’s almost like they were thrown into some reality show that we see today on T.V because at sometimes that how life was for them- drama filled and a whirlwind of emotions.
Growing up I would always ask my parents to tell me the story of how they met, I could hear it over and over and never get bored. I love it because it’s the story of us. It’s how I became who I am, it’s who my brothers are, who we are as a family. I wanted to tell it because not only is it my favorite love story, it’s also my favorite story of hope and trust and a whole lot of luck. If how my parents met was the beginning of a movie, it would make for good cinema. Since this was actual life, and nothing hits you harder than life, it made for a hard start.
I have had a lot of friends over the years tell me how lucky I am or how my family is “so perfect” and that I have the “best parents”. To a point, those things are true and I am so lucky, but that does not mean that it has always or will always be like that. We had to work through plenty of our own hard times. I remember blow out fights, words said that people wish they could take back, and tears that went on all night. We weren't perfect and we have never been perfect. I think what seems perfect is that after all this time, my parents are still together. Not only are they still together but they are still in love. Thats where I think people get “perfect” confused for “hard work”.
My parents couldn't be more opposite people if they tried, but they also couldn't be any more perfect for one another. I honestly don't think anyone else could handle the madness that comes along from either of them. They are crazy on their own, and they are even more crazy together, and when we all get together its like the fucking circus came to town. Thats what life is about though, finding the right crazy for you, and thats what they did.
So more than anything, this post is for them- even though they deserve so much more. Its an ode to the most amazing people I have ever met… my mom and dad. It’s a thank you for teaching me love, and patience, and trust, and perseverance. It’s a thank you for guiding me to all my greatest accomplishments and never giving up on me, and never giving up on each other. Thank you for treating everyone you meet like family and helping others that have nothing to offer you. Thank you for making my life interesting and full of laughter, love, and strength.
If you asked my dad the short story of how they met he would say “I went to NY for the weekend and some crazy red head followed me back and never left”. Then you'd look at my mom she’d hit my dad on the back of the head and then smile all giddy and say “I knew I loved that man from the moment I met him”.