So it begins.

I got a head filled with anything and everything. I find myself being so hyper sensitive to the world. The change in light, a slight change in weather, they way someone’s face changes mid conversation. I notice it all so intensely and as insignificant as that problem sounds it cripples me. I dissect every situation I encounter instead of experiencing my life. So I decided to start writing shit down. For a multitude of reasons. For one I hope it will let me have a place to put my thoughts so the don’t just linger in my head. Also I feel it will be something that can help me figure myself out, seeing how I come across on paper. One last reason, probably the most important reason, I’m scared. Scared of not remembering anything. I’m scared one day I’m goanna look back and not know how I got to where the fuck I am. I’m scared that I’m goanna wake up and realize I spent too much time worrying that I’ve wasted all my moments. I’m scared I’m not doing anything spectacular. And I don’t know if that’s true or not. Maybe I am spectacular, some days I feel it’s spectacular that I even exist and then some days I think of how small and fleeting we all really are. So I want something I can look back on so hold myself accountable for. Accountable for the way my life turned out. I’m hard on myself, I get that. I just don’t know how to stop it. I’ll spend forever trying to calm down, I just know it.

And so it begins. Here I go throwing my thoughts into the big dirty pool of the Internet, here’s the way I see the world.

#blogpersonal